Goodbye (1/1)

[noelleleithe.livejournal.com]

Title: Goodbye
Author: noelleleithe
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~745
Summary: Not what you might expect.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything here except my own words. No copyright infringement is intended

Author's Notes: My first attempt at Luke/Noah. Unbetaed, so any errors are all mine.

~~~~~

"Luke ... I don't want to be your boyfriend any more."

Luke was sure he was dying. There was a roaring in his ears, and his vision was suddenly clouded and gray. His knees buckled. He felt hands on his arms and something that sounds like a voice calling his name, but his mind couldn't focus. The world spun around him into blackness.

Awareness returned. He was sitting on the sofa, bent over at the waist, his head between his knees. Strong hands were holding him, one against his chest, the other stroking the back of his neck. His throat burned and his lungs ached. His vision was blurry with tears. He blinked, then again, then lifted a shaking hand to wipe away the wetness. He couldn't bring himself to move otherwise, not even to look up. Especially not to look up at Noah.

He felt as much as heard Noah's breating, ragged and fast. "God, Luke, you scared the crap out of me," Noah said. "I ... I am so sorry, I didn't think about ... Dammit, Luke, I know I always screw things like this up. Please snap out of it, that's not what I meant, please."

Luke sucked in a long, deep breath, then blew it back out. He tried to speak, but his voice cracked. He swallowed once, then again. He still couldn't look at Noah, but he managed to grind out through clenched teeth, "You meant it. I know you did."

"No!" Noah said, grabbing Luke's shoulders and shaking him. "No, I didn't mean it the way you heard it. I know what you think I meant, Luke, and it's not true. I love you, Luke. That's never going to change. Please, just listen to me."

Luke took another deep breath. "I don't know if I can," he said honestly. "Not if you're just going to push me away again. I can't ..."

Noah slid his hands up to cup Luke's head, forcing Luke to turn his face up and look at him. "I'm not pushing you away, Luke," he said, his eyes searching Luke's. "I swear, that's not what I'm doing. That's not what I want. I promise, I'm not going anywhere."

Luke studied Noah's eyes, looking for what he always saw there. Sincerity. Concern. Steadiness. Longing. Love. There it was, still shining from Noah's blue eyes. He relaxed a little, just enough that he knew Noah sensed it.

"Look, Luke," Noah said, his hands sliding back down to caress Luke's shoulders. "When I said I don't want to be your boyfriend, I didn't mean that I want to split up. It was an awful choice of words, and I'm sorry for putting you through that." His mouth curved up into a small, apologetic smile. "I think I scared myself when I realized how it sounded, if that makes you feel any better."

Luke chuffed out a hollow laugh. "Not really," he said. His gaze dropped again, but Noah wasn't having any of that.

"Hey," he said. "Luke, look at me." When he did, Noah smiled again, softly. "I just meant ... I meant that I think we're ready for more than just being boyfriends. I want you to be ... to be my partner."

Luke straightened up. "Your partner?" he said, a shiver of shock and amazement running down his spine. "Is that ... I mean, do you want ..." A slow, lopsided grin started across his face. "Are you asking me to marry you, Noah Mayer?"

Noah grinned back, a full smile this time, all his teeth showing. "Well, I don't think the state of Illinois would go along with that quite yet," he said. He turned more serious again. "But we don't need the state to tell us what we feel, Luke," he said. "We talk all the time about being together for the rest of our lives. I just want to turn all that talk into a commitment. The legal stuff, we can worry about later."

The last shreds of his fear and despair slipping away, Luke reached up to grasp Noah's hands, bringing them together between them, entwining their fingers. He leaned forward. "Partners, huh?" he said. "Should we discuss division of labor now, or is the terminology a good enough place to start?"

Noah smiled. "That'll do for now," he said. "Partner."

"Partner," Luke echoed. He leaned in closer, his gaze dropping to focus on Noah's mouth. "So kiss the boyfriend goodbye."